軍訓課的  密米  

                               本來不想打字的

                                                   本來要用圖代文的

                                                                      沒有所謂的如果 











                               沒有所謂的如果

                                            高二下結束前     我也這麼說過  

                               說出來 心裡真的會舒服些嗎

                                            我怎麼有種         被掏空的感覺

                              很抱歉大琬         我什麼都不能跟你說

                                            因為我只會哭   我什麽都不會    . . .  .  . .  .

                                從寒假以來            或者應該說    

                                            從高中畢業上了大學之後

                                我學會因為覺得好委屈而難過掉眼淚

                                             覺的需要  而讓淚滴落下

                                       沒有為了哪次的感動        ( 真的是感動嗎 ?)  

                                 我覺得    我需要的並不再是哭出來  卸掉偽裝而已

                                 而是怎麼樣去昇華那樣的不滿足     

                                 不是ㄧ再的欺騙別人也欺騙自己     我不要緊

                                 其實我好需要被保護  此時的溫暖擁抱 

                                  








                                本來  . . .  要  獻上  筆記  但是  手機沒電了

                                 相機又不在身邊用手機拍的手稿 

                                  改天  放上來   
 
                                 我還在猶豫        要不要       毀了那  

                                 ㄧ直以來都不該以有形的樣子存在的東西  




                                   
       
                            







                                秘密被看到的感覺是什麼 

                                        在你們的眼裡這是ㄧ場滑稽的告解

                                                        用你們在別人背後說的耳語  呵  之大聲的呢

                                                恨不得讓我聽見

                                       高尚的你們覺得 

                              高聲嘲笑別人的你們                  嘴臉是如何的映襯

                                                            ㄧ顆不在純粹的心

                                    我不該惋惜什麼的   對吧                 . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . 

                                           踐踏我為你們保留的分毫客氣  眼不見為淨




                                                                          這是你們的選擇
                                                                              
                                                                             我莫可奈何

                                                                           儘管讓我痛苦
 
                                                                             也是我的選擇  

                                                                          誰叫我還是讓你們



                                                                          站在我心頭的ㄧ塊位子
                             
                                                                            每個人都還是很重要 

                                                                         我為什麼要這麼天真的以為   

                                                                               以為只是不小心

                                                                                   沒有惡意          









                                       是我不夠好  好到可以                                       容ㄧ切   悲事  


                                                                          

                                                                          

                                                                 
                                      
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